kennethholland.com

by Glenn Holland

NASCAR is finally getting it right - the Indy tire debacle is merely a cover. They are experimenting with a format change that will ultimately take all their races down to a 10-lap shootout. Race day schedule would look like this:

6am - Beer concessions open
7am - Gates Open
8am - Morning invocation, playing of country song from one of the following artists (current rota): Trisha Yearwood, Kenny Chesney, Faith Hill, Brooks & Dunn.
8:30am - Monster Truck exhibition
9am - Concert by one of following washed up/poseur modern rock bands (current rota): Three Doors Down, Daughtry, Sammy Hagar, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi.
10am - Morning prayer, beer concession restock
11am - “Best 3-Car Shrine” contest winner announced
12pm - Porta-potty maintenance, beer concession restock
12pm - Country/Pop music concert from one of the following artists (current rota): Trace Adkins, Kelly Clarkson, Alan Jackson, Tanya Tucker.
12:30 - John Deere Tractor Parade
12:50 - Invocation, Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” plays
13:00 - Start engines, flyover
13:05 - Green Flag, 10 lap race
13:07 - Mandatory competition yellow, lap 3, no laps scored during caution
13:30 - Green Flag, lap 4
13:35 - Forecast caution, red flag - inspect tires, clean track, repair SAFER damage - NASCAR leads in safety and through their innovations the best drivers in the world are totally, completely safe.
14:15 - Green Flag
14:20 - Mandatory competition yellow, lap 6, no laps scored during caution
14:30 - Porta-potty maintenance, beer concession restock
14:50 - Green Flag, lap 7
14:55 - Forecast caution, red flag - inspect tires, clean track, repair SAFER damage - NASCAR leads in safety and through their innovations the best drivers in the world are totally, completely safe.
15:20 - Green Flag
15:21 - Forecast caution, red flag - inspect tires, clean track, repair SAFER damage - NASCAR leads in safety and through their innovations the best drivers in the world are totally, completely safe.
15:55 - Green/White/Checkered policy in effect, Green Flag
15:55:31 - Caution - Field Frozen
15:58 - Checkered Flag
16:00 - Burnouts, tributes, fence climb, flag-waving, someone is looking out for us from above, etc.
16:30 - Winner Determined, hopefully same guy who did burnouts
16:10 - Victory Lane ceremony for Designated Winner
16:15 - Fireworks, Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” plays
16:30 - Porta-potty maintenance
16:45 - Track cleanup (Talladega only)
17:00 - Flag take-down ceremony. U.S. Flag north of Mason-Dixon Line, Confederate Flag, south. “God Bless America” by Martina McBride plays north of Mason-Dixon line, except for Indiana (Allstate 400 at the Brickyard) which gets “Small Town” by John Mellencamp. South of M-D, “White Lightning” by George Jones, except for Alabama, which gets “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynard Skynard.
19:00 - Gates close

Look at that, a full day’s race-related activities with only 10 laps!

Tony Stewart sure has had an interesting couple of weeks!

First, Tony talks about retiring after the Texas race because of his ‘misfortune’ which has dogged him all year. Then he skips the post-race interview with NASCAR after Phoenix because he asserts that NASCAR is fixing the race, essentially.

Here’s a quote from Tony:

“It’s like playing God. They can almost dictate the race instead of the drivers doing it. It’s happened too many times this year.”

“I guess NASCAR thinks ‘Hey, wrestling worked, and it was for the most part staged, so I guess it’s going to work in racing, too,’” he said. “I can’t understand how long the fans are going to let NASCAR treat them like they’re stupid before the fans finally turn on NASCAR.

“I don’t know that they’ve run a fair race all year.”

Ouch!

Then he really tries to endear himself to NASCAR by saying this:

“There’s nothing, zero, in my contract that says I have to do that,” he said. “We do that as a courtesy to NASCAR and the media. The thing with the media is they think it’s our obligation to do those things. It’s not our obligation. It’s a privilege that they get to do that. NASCAR is the ones that always ask us to go to the media center, so instead of doing what they wanted, they don’t do what we want to do and run the race fair,” he said. “So why would I go to the media center and make them happy?”

I like the fact that Stewart isn’t afraid to say how he feels in an age where…well…you can’t say what you feel! But I think Tony is pulling a bit of a whiner here…partly. Let me explain.

On his rant about retirement after the Texas race: He was frustrated, got tangled with Juan Montoya and spun. His emotions got the best of him and he whined. It happens. Tony, get over it!

Now the Phoenix deal: I think there are a number of people out there that are, shall we say, dubious on how NASCAR ‘officiates’ its races from time to time. There are examples of this. Take this quote from MSNBC

Think about way-past-his-prime Richard Petty winning his 200th NASCAR race at Daytona in 1984 in front of President Reagan on Independence Day weekend. Indiana native Jeff Gordon winning the inaugural race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 1994. Dale Earnhardt Sr. winning his first Daytona 500 late in his career in 1998, on the opening day of NASCAR’s 50th anniversary season. Dale Earnhardt Jr. winning the Pepsi 400 in 2001, the first race after his father died that same Daytona track. For that matter, Juan Pablo Montoya, the only Latin American driver in the race, winning this year’s Busch Series event in Mexico City.

It makes you pause, does it not…if even for a moment?

Now some (many?) will say it’s just coincidence…that it would be impossible to stage or manipulate a result because of the large number of people that would have to be ‘in on the fix’, so to speak.

Consider this: Could a day come where enough people get fed up with NASCAR because, in their view, they ‘cheat’ to obtain the results they desire? And could this lead to lawsuits…even major ones? After all, NASCAR races are wagered on in Vegas. And we’ve already seen that the government does not view manipulation in sports too kindly.

And in the end, even NASCAR is not above the long arm of the feds.