Your biggest enemy?

April 22, 2021

by Kenneth Holland

You already know who that is, right?

Yeah...we are all about 'looking in the mirror' and 'taking ownership'.

Not only that...but worse:

"shitting on yourself."

We now live in a world seemingly of self-hatred. Maybe we always have...hell, how do I know?

But nevertheless, the pressure is on like never before.

We Are Told:

We all have foes and enemies, but the greatest one lies within us!

Really?

Maybe this 'foe' 'they' speak of is just royal mess just trying to get it right.

They continue:

Recently one of my students came to me for advice. She told me she has many enemies due to the nature of work she is involved in in public life, and because of this people don’t truly understand her. She felt she was unfairly portrayed because of her role in society. I told her that the solution was very simple — “You are your own worst enemy!” She paused for a moment, then laughed and agreed, “You are right! My biggest enemy is my own internal dialogue of self-hatred, -criticism, -doubt and inability to trust myself.”

Or maybe they really just don't understand her because they're the ones who are their own worst enemy and she's fucking amazing??

Can we consider this possibility?

People closest to you can be your biggest enemy...well of course!

I think we all have had these fears in one form or another. For some...realized.

So that would mean you are fine. And the mirror, so to speak...is bullshit.

And In that case, 'taking ownership' (as I alluded to above) is also a fallacy.

And ALL the diatribes I'm so immensely proud of on the internet that points the finger squarely back at yourself is also poppycock?

No it's not. Because There Really Isn't a Santa Claus...and There is No Black and White

You blow it.

I blow it.

There is NO rhyme or reason when you do it...or when I do it.

But we both do it.

And if you do it...and I'm the recipient...the 'beneficiary' of your misguided deeds (if they even are that) then I....

MUST be at fault because I need to take that damn ownership goddammit!

Please...

We are so absolute...and that pretense (the enemy thing) is really ridiculous when you think about it with any level of reason.

Crappy crap happens to all of us.

We all have so much baggage by default...we are all just running around without an owners manual and we're scared shitless.

There's No Grand Answer

That's it. I don't have an answer except 2 simple things that I try (am trying) to do:

1. Know when I am slacking and just being a lazy tool. (aka be a grownup)

2. Take it easy on myself when I know I'm moving forward and stop being defeatist. (I'm a badass)

Yep. Maybe you aren't your own worst enemy.

Either way...who cares? Just keep moving...