The School of Online Business: 7 Steps to Dominate (in your dreams…)

February 1, 2021

by Kenneth Holland

The School of Online Business is a tad like the misunderstood models of affiliate and email marketing...it sounds damn easy: Just put your mask on, clock in to your Zoom...then take a nap while your brain magically downloads all the information you need to poop bulging bank drafts in your new Range Rover. 

Disclaimer: I was not the best student...except for 8th grade (not sure why that year...maybe it was the cafeteria food). But what I did learn more often than not wasn't in school. 

That said, if you're still not convinced, read on for the shortcuts and loopholes...

Online Business School 101 for the Uninitiated, Unprepared and Unmotivated...

The school of online business - Kenneth Holland

#1. Email at least 7-8 other marketers a day asking how to make money online with no money and with no work involved. Then…when they obviously email you back eager to help you...follow up and then ask them why when you click your mouse dollar bills aren’t spitting out of your heating vents in your house.

#2. Email those same marketers in #1 to do everything for you and give you the profits.

#3. Create your own website. Work hard on it. Buy a training course. Find some products to sell. Invest in a low-cost ad. Launch your ad. After 3 days…and you haven’t turned a profit (because it’s been 3 days) blame everything and the world that this ‘online thing’ is a scam and doesn’t work. Then blame more people. This works for affiliate marketing too...

#4. Blitz your Facebook wall with political and religious rants with the all-knowing belief you’ll change everyone’s mind who reads them. Then later in the day ask these same people (who are still your friends) to check out your latest biz opp: ‘Clean up in Crypto with 70K in profits in 48 hours by spamming your wall about politics. Just comment ‘info’ and ‘dumbass’ below.

#5. Create a Youtube channel. Create 2 videos. When those 2 videos gets 27 views combined scream on Twitter and your Facebook page (the political one) that Youtube ripped you off and you should have made at least 100 bucks in partner ads revenue. Then, when one of your ‘friends’ tells you that you’re being unrealistic on your Youtube income and that you need to start selling affiliate offers complain to them about #3.

#6. Create an Instagram account.

#7. Show your ass on it. Profit.

#8. If 1-7 present a challenge to you then simply find a niche you can (and want to be...) consistent in and work really hard at it. Optional(?): Run your business like this weird thing you’ve been hearing about….called a ‘business’.

The School of Online Business isn't Really a School...

...and it's not really a business. Everyone wants a solution to their problem that is neatly packaged, solves every conceivable hurdle (of course), and costs only 7 bucks (if that).

Take said school online and you often have a virtual cesspool of laziness, excuse making, shaming and complaining to appease the 'do-nothing' masses.

Is it all that bad? Usually. Want to stand out and be an outlier? Don't. Do. That.

That’s it…that’s all you need: The 7 steps to starting an online business that will supermodels (poolboys?) in to your living room at breakneck speed. NOTE: If you have a struggle with any of these…simply focus on number 8…