“I’ve never been the same after she died.”
She kept sipping her drink quickly in between her words, as if trying to constantly pour cold water on a fresh burn.
But as I sat with this woman I had met a short time before, she revealed that her friend had tragically passed away 5 years earlier, and it was clear she was not willing (unable?) to move on.
As we kept talking she told me she had several failed relationships, problems with her children…and all directly connected to the loss of her friend.
Now…you might retort:
“You don’t know what she’s going through.”
You are exactly right. I do not. And I’ve long since unsubscribed to the assinine notion of ‘there are many others going through much worse than you’.
Really? Firstly, how do you know that? Firstly again…that doesn’t mean jack squat to someone who’s going through tough times.
Pain is pain…pal. Thinking someone might be experiencing worse trials than you does NOTHING to make you feel better, does it?
I lost my Dad 2 months ago. It is hard, it still is hard…and I don’t like it. As a result I started drinking more because of my pain (unfortunately common). I could say “…hey…I’m going through a rough time so this is how I’m handling it.” And people might say ‘sure man…you gotta do what you gotta do.’
Just like she ‘had to do what she’s gotta do’.
Guess what? You don’t ‘gotta’ do anything. You DECIDE to. YOU decide if you’ll let these things define you, or not.
Easy? No. But the universe doesn’t care whether it’s easy or not. You either deal with trouble in your life with the blinders ripped off…or you do not.
It could be death as I touched on here but really, this can be any type of trial one may have to endure. And here’s the stark reality:
At some point you better find a way to get over it IF you want some measure of fulfillment.
You better find a way to get over it…or be sentenced to strife and pain.
And that my friends goes for me as well.
Keep moving forward.
You can do this.
We all can.
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