Kenneth Holland, Author at KennethHolland.com - Page 23 of 29

All posts by Kenneth Holland

A watched blog WILL boil if you do this…

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rabbit-blogHave you ever heard of Law of Attraction?

It’s a ‘belief’, if you will, that what you think about most will manifest in your life.

For example:

Yesterday, I focused on a Ferrari 488 Spyder appearing in my driveway. And I’ll be damned…

…if it didn’t appear.

๐Ÿ™

I was duped dammit!

I want my money back!Continue reading

He’s butt-hurt by too many emails

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butt-hurtLooks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed and my emails strangled him:

‘Dude! You’re sending emails every day! I mean how much do you have to talk about? I can’t keep up!’

Criminy!

To answer your question Dexter, I have plenty to talk about.

Let’s see what I can do to help.

*rollseyes*Continue reading

Bloggers can be choosers

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Last week Carol Browne suggested movie scene based shots as some LEGO picture ideas. She had originally suggested Reservoir Dogs unfortunately I don't quite have enough minifigs in suits. In the meantime here's a shot from The Shining.It stuck in the wall like Jack Torrance’s axe in ‘The Shining.’

That would be your alarm clock.

“I’m gonna break that little piece of s%@#” you mutter to yourself as you fall outta bed for yet another day of your ‘just over broke.’

Then you fantasize yet again:

‘I’m gonna walk in, pull that rug off his head, knee him in the you-know-where…and tell Mr. Boss-man where to stick it!!’Continue reading

You’re boring me

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camel-boredBoring causes the death of ANYTHING.

People hate boring.

Your partner hates it.

Your dog hates it.

Your boss hates it (why do you think he keeps disappearing with Ashley his secretary?).

Don’t be boring!Continue reading

Don’t bite the blog that feeds you…

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...to the hand that feeds you.It’s not often the ol’ Kenster comes clean about my internet marketing gaffes.

In my mind, this is actually quite embarrassing.

But it’s important that you know this:Continue reading

Never Look a Blog Horse in the Mouth

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horse-teeth…unless you’re content being broke by playing shell games on social media.

News Flash:

Everyone is on Facebook.

It’s THE site on the internet.

Sure, Google is huge…for search.

But when it comes to interaction and social engagement, Facebook is the watercooler of the internet…

…to the tune of almost 2 BILLION active users.

So as an internet marketer, you need to grow your presence there…to promote your products and services.

But there’s a problem.Continue reading

Blogs help those who help themselves…

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pope-francis

“Hello my child…hey…did WordPress send that update yet??”

Let’s be honest…Moses was not lugging around some stone tablets…

It was a Macbook Air!

I swear, I’m pretty sure I saw the logo when it was in Charlton Heston’s hands!

But I digress…

(one of my fave words)

You’ve heard me opine on the profuse advantages of having your own blog.

So I want to sermonize (?) some facts for you so you can see the light and get outta that sea before you get wet…Continue reading

Blog Day Afternoon

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blog-dogHave you ever had to save money for a loved one’s sex change?

Ok ok…probably not.

But…

If you have ever heard of the famous bank robbery movie, ‘Dog Day Afternoon’, starring the legendary Al Pacino, you might not know it’s based on true story that took place in 1972.

Stay with me here…Continue reading

Rock died when Rap stole all the women and drugs

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hair-metalSo the other day I’m watching some 80’s hair metal band videos on Youtube.

Some epic rocking stuff…

Van Halen, Motley Crue, Ratt…

I’m a rocker through and through…

and I cannot lie.

๐Ÿ™‚

So I’m watching Motley Crue’s ‘Girls Girls Girls’ video (hubba! hubba!!)…

and I start scanning some of the Youtube comments below the vid.

And the commenters are lamenting the decline of hard rock in this day of boy bands and ‘The Voice.’

But this one comment got my attention…

and it was classic:Continue reading

He fell on my blog and became spelling bee champion

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jackassHere’s a gem of an email from someone on my list:

‘o boy!! Your going to set me up a blog I fell special. blogs have been around for years and dont do what they do anymore. there played out and so are you that you dont know what your talking about.

i got an offer. look at my real opportnity and you should hope on board. If not, then I will get off your email because you need help jerk@$#.’

This is GREAT stuff.

Where do I start? First, let me wipe the tears from my eyes from the pure comedy.Continue reading

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